So often people refer to being single as if it’s a bad thing. Like if you’re still single past a certain age you must be cursed, doomed, going through ‘something’, there must be something wrong with you or you’re basically going to grow old alone.
I hate when people assume because I’m single I’m lonely. I don’t mind being single, I’d rather work on me than worry about someone else.
The amount of people (family, friends & sometimes even strangers) that don’t understand why I don’t have a boyfriend or why I was never in a serious relationship baffle me. Let’s just point out the fact that I AM ONLY 20 YEARS OLD!!!
Recently I saw the movie How To Be Single and it honestly inspired me to write this blog (p.s. Rebel Wilson is hilariouuuuuus!! 😀 ) The movie went over a few different points that clicked with me and I personally found really relatable. Majority of people are more intrigued by the thoughts of being in love, rather than actually being in love. You get this fairytale in your head, you watch way too many cheesey American romance films and you think that’s the way it should be. Don’t get me wrong we all have our fantasies but I hate to be the bearer of bad news reality is sadly not all cute songs, nice dates and kisses under the stars. I bloody wish.
I’m all for embracing love. Please be loved and love but sometimes people who are single need to remember that being single is a beauty in itself. It’s not a chasing game to constantly look for someone and feel like you NEED to have a boyfriend/girlfriend in a certain amount of time, who the hell needs that kind of pressure?
Plus it’s kinda not fun when the dating pool looks like this… *cries*
So for all my fellow single-tons (you ain’t alone 😉 ) I decided to write a few points about why being single isn’t all as shitty as it sounds, in fact embrace it while you can you never know who’s around the corner.
- Build A Better YOU
Now you have all this time to yourself you can do things that you may have never have time to do. Whether it’s going back to college, focusing on your career, spending more time exercising, learning a language, trying some new recipes, meeting new friends. The list is endless and when you’re comfortable in your own company. You don’t have the weight of constantly thinking of another person, you don’t have to worry about squeezing them into your schedule a few times a week and you don’t have to feel guilty when you just wanna have a Netflix & Chill night all by yourself. (finally some quiet time to actually watch your Gossip Girl episodes!)
- Less Guilt, More Fun
There’s nothing worse than your girls asking you to go on a night out and you realllly want to go, no, you actually need to go but you have this weird feeling in the back of your head about it. For some odd reasons girls/boys always get this huge wave of jealousy when the other person is heading on a night out. Maybe it’s the fact you know they’re going to be looking good, when alcohol is involved who knows what may happen, their friends are reaaaally bad influences, they won’t be able to text you in a busy club so automatically you’ll think their talking to some good looking girl. Ugh the thoughts! Even if the other person is completely innocent it doesn’t help the crazy-ness coming out in you when you feel a little paranoid. But when you’re single you can go out, drink as much as you want, not even look at your phone, have a great time with your friends, hey maybe a hottie might chat you up and ask for your number but whatever happens happens, and there’s no one you have to think about but yourself.
Being single used to mean nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with. – Sarah Jessica Parker
- You Have the Chance to Explore & Experiment
Often people in relationships get comfortable and used to a certain routine. They forget what it’s like to step out of their comfort zone and do spontaneous things without reason. When you meet someone and you plan on staying together long term it’s pretty rare if both people in the relationship agree on everything and have the same dreams. If you settle down, move in together, start having responsibilities and maybe even kids you can’t really wake up one day quit your job and decide you wanna go bag packing in South East Asia for a year. There’s a lot more to think about when you’re serious with a significant other.
- You Have Less Chance of Being Hurt
The main thing that can ruin someone’s view on love/relationships is if they’ve either had their heart broken or watched it happen to someone close to them. I mean yeah it’s a part of life it will happen to everyone at some stage but I personally would rather post pone heartbreak till a longgggg time. I don’t know what it is but SO many people these days aren’t respectful to relationships. They easily cheat and get away with it, people don’t frown upon affairs as much as they used to, loyalty & trust is rare. Maybe it’s just the majority of my generation or where I live but yikes it’s enough to have you running to the convent! When you fall in love, even if it doesn’t work out, the good times can definitely balance out the bad but if it’s mostly a downward spiral and you’re constantly anxious, paranoid, upset, unhappy etc. then honestly it’s not worth it. It’s better to be alone than in a bad relationship!
- Your Independence Grows
Being single doesn’t necessarily mean being alone in a negative way. Being alone gives you a chance to fend for yourself, do your own thing and have no choice but to go out and get something done yourself. All that furniture you bought in IKEA? Yeah you’ve no handy man boyfriend to do that for you so reading manuals and looking at a few YouTube tutorials are making you the handy woman ;). When you get past a certain age you can’t keep calling up your parents relying on them for everything, you have to rely on yourself. When your independence is there before you meet someone, if it doesn’t work out you know you were just fine before them so you will be just fine after them. Kind of its own little therapy in itself!
- Fall in Love with Yourself, Literally
“You have to love yourself before you love someone else”, this isn’t entirely true because you can certainly love someone even at your darkest of days. But to truly know your worth, what you want from someone and love someone for all the right reasons you have to love yourself first. If you’re out of a relationship, full of insecurities, feeling hurt and lonely the worst thing you can do is immediately get into a new relationship. Because #1 you’re in that desperate stage where you think it’s better to have a shitty someone than have nobody at all, #2 you need validation so you think by having someone who likes you that you must be worth something, but do you believe it? #3 you’re so used to being with someone that the thoughts of sleeping alone and not having someone there all the time scares the shit out of you but the problems, insecurities and paranoia from the previous relationship will carry onto the new one unless you fix yourself first. When you learn to be alone and realise “f*ck I’m an amazing girl and if someone doesn’t like me for me, then that’s their loss!” you will never settle for less than what you deserve and GIRRRRRRL everyone deserves the best and to be happy!
This isn’t a post to be negative about relationships, absolutely not, but I think the status ‘single’ gets a lot more negativity than necessary, especially if you’re young. So girls go out there, have fun, do you and LOVE YOU!
Here’s some single loving tunes to uplift your lonely heart! ahaha ❤