Do You Have a Love/Hate Mate?

“It’s better to have one good friend than 100 shitty one’s”

I think everyone would agree with this statement but no one likes to think their so-called friends are not actually real friends at all. At some point in life, probably in primary school, we get to an stage where friends aren’t just kids your age that your Mam tried to set on a play date with, a cousin in and around your age to chill with at family parties or even a neighbour to play on the streets with, but you start to make your own friends. I don’t know about you but I started to collect friends as if they were Pokémon cards!! Haha. Which is absolutely fine. I’m that type of person you could throw into a room of strangers and I’ll leave becoming friends with majority of them, and in my opinion that’s a great way to be but as you get older you start to realize who’s real and who’s not.

Fast forward a few years and a few friendships later from primary school and take a look around, do you still have the same people in your life? Is your old BFF still your BFF? Do you still feel the same way you did about them? The answer is probably not. This doesn’t mean that anything major happened, it doesn’t always take something awful to end a friendship sometimes it just happens and that’s okay. Because, honestly, it’s a f*cking chore to keep that many friends. You can’t have a garden full of plants and expect them to stay alive without watering them frequently, and friendships are the same.

“The best friends are the one’s you don’t have to talk to everyday but when you do it’s like nothing has changed.” I LOVE those type of friendships! From living abroad for two years from the age of 18-20 I really found out who my true friends were. Those people who wouldn’t hold it against you if you haven’t had a chance to FaceTime them all week, if you forgot to tell them about a date you went on or the daily gossip. You both understand you’re doing your own thing and have clashing schedules but when you talk it’s like you’re sitting across from each other the same as always. You know who you are and YOU ROCK!

Not every friendship works like that though. Some friends are here for a season, others are here for a reason.

As you get older your circle gets smaller and people you thought you’d have as your bridesmaid quickly fall into the acquaintance category.

If you have a diamond friend who will keep it real to you in front and behind your back, respect you and love you regardless then HOLD ONTO THEM AND NEVER LET THEM GO! Because real friends are hard to come by.

A few types of people you may find yourself drifting from as you get older are:

The Drama Queen/Crazy Bish: There’s always that one girl that has to make something huge out of nothing. tumblr_nsx5q0ZKLS1uv4g8io1_540You forget to reply to her message but look at her Snapchat story and all of a sudden you’re the worst person in the world. She breaks up and gets back with her boyfriend every other week and writes it on Facebook, Every.Bloody.Time. (Rolls eyes) and God forbid you actually did do something wrong because then all hell would break loose! When they’re not being a complete nutjob, they’re probably lovely, but their antics outweigh their good traits and a friendship like this can be really exhausting to keep up with. You get to a certain stage when you’re no longer interested in other people’s business and the last thing you want is to be pulled into unnecessary drama that actually has nothing got to do with you. This is one of those friendships you need to gently ease your way out of. Introduce him or her to a new friend or two who is just as crazy, and let nature take its course.

The One-Upper: You’ve been to Tenerife, they’ve been to Eleven-Erife. You were promoted to Supervisor, they were promoted to Manager. A fella texts you on Facebook and apparently him and his 3 mates texted her as well at some stage. You buy the newest Topshop shoes first and all of a sudden she “was gonna get them the other day”. Get the point? tumblr_nti0enIgRf1qjs7cno2_540These friends are honestly put in your life to drive you crazy! They’re probably great fun but the moment an actual conversation starts they think it’s competition time and probably exaggerate absolutely everything. Odds are these people will go find another Alpha female to battle it out with when you stop entertaining them.

The Fake One: The friends who are always there when you’re at your highest but nowhere to be seen when you’re at your lowest. True friends will always find a way to help you but fake friends will always have an excuse. In my eyes a fake friend doesn’t necessarily have to do anything bad on you, sometimes you just realize their true intentions. They call you for a party but never to ask how you are. They’ll comment nice things on your social media posts but are the very ones talking shit the minute you leave a room. They’re quick to message you when they need a favour and being the person you are you’ll help them, but when it’s the opposite way around it’s a different story. And worst of all, they’re never truly happy for you! They want to see you do well, but NEVER better than them.

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The Toxic Friend: In my eyes these are the worst. Some can be so intimidating and manipulative that even the toughest girl feels uneasy around them. You’re probably thinking ‘who the hell would be friends with someone like that’ or ‘then why are you still friends with them’ but cutting someone off is a task in itself. It’s not as easy as unfriending/unfollowing them on social media. If they’re in your circle of friends, being frenemies with them is easier than being complete enemies. They pretend to like/support/be happy for you when they’re with you, but behind your back it’s a whole other story. Even when they’re “being nice,” there’s always some sort of catty kicker.

tumblr_n9gf8qDz5z1qfh70bo2_r1_250Whenever you see their name popping up on your phone your stomach drops incase it’s some sort of drama-involvement bullsh*t. You dread seeing them and you’re relieved when they leave. These friendships take a toll on you and your well-being, coming from experience if you want to get out of this friendship and don’t know how, the best way is to slowly distance yourself and become unavailable. They’ll eventually get the hint without causing a fight. YES!

Surround yourself with good people that bring out the best in you, make you a better person and make you laugh your ass off. And remember Quality over Quantity always!

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